I Have To Kill It

only God knows how much i love singing and performing but there is only one thing that almost always worries me. like peter pan who enjoys flying but fears terribly of growing up. or like a vampire who enjoys feasting on human blood but is afraid of the sun light. for me, it is stage fright. that forceful poundings u get between ur chest and ur heart that keep getting louder and stronger by the second.. that feeling of extreme anxiety for fear of making mistakes on stage or forgetting the words ur supposed to sing... yes, that's what i am talking about.. Stage Fright.

ever since i break out of my shell (the shell that has kept me all shy and silent about my singing. yes its true, i was shy about my singing.. my only audience was the four walls of my bedroom as well as the walls of my shower room), the 1st time i sang on stage was truly overwhelming.. it gave me this incredible sense of satisfaction because at last, i was able to muster enough courage to do it.. to show my friends and everyone the other side of me, the singer side of me without fearing that they would judge me. well, if they did..so be it. i remember i was about 14 or 15 that time.. but i couldnt forget  the stage fright i had prior to my performance. i remember those terrible thoughts of screwing up, forgetting the lyrics, tripping on stage that sent signals to my hands and knees to tremble in fear. i almost felt like i could passed out but thankfully, i didnt.. but as the music played, i couldn't wait to hit that 1st note of the song.. i remember singing "Thank You For The Music".there was this particular part of the song that went silent for a while and i swore i could hear the audience awed in amazement. subsequently, my stage fright was gone and so were my nerves.

but henceforth, the stage fright keeps coming back, like a boomerang, everytime when i was about to perform. i was never able to overcome this stage fright. i remember going for my 1st  audition at OIAM, i was gruesomely nervous.. to an extend where my throat went completely dry and there were butterflies in my stomach, my knees were violently trembling and a sudden sense of coldness came over me (or maybe it was the air-conditioner? haha..).. anyways, thanks to my nerves, i cracked one fucking note in my song but i continued the song til the end. i was totally dissapointed and surprised at the fact that i was capable of cracking that one crappy note. i could feel this sudden warm tinkle feeling cascading all over my face.. yes, it was the feeling of shame. but miraculously, the judges liked me and gave me the green light. i considered myself fortunate but at that point, i knew that i HAVE to kill my stage fright.

i never really manage to kill it yet but just recently, i finally managed to control it. and the result was fruitful. it was the best thing ever. last night, i performed at a Christmas Dinner. i sang 'Oh Holy Night' and 'Pupus'. and i have to say. it was my BEST performance ever. i didnt tremble like i normally would and i nailed those songs. i hit those high notes like they never got hit before. and i even got great compliments from the VIPs that i didnt expect at all.. like TOTALLY.

a few more shows and i think i'm ready for another grueling singing competition. OIAM 2, here i come!

Comments

[-mEgDaLyN-]

Gud luck!!

[MeLoDy MoCkEr]

performing in front of the crowd plus got complimented by the VIPs.. that is supercool man ! i'm so proud of you dude.. stage fright ? i've heard that even the pro can't really handle that problem.. but u did really a great job.. congrats dude ! yeah, every dog has its day.. haha.. and hopefully, u'll be the next top singing sensation ! but do the degree first okay ? haha..

[Edgar]

hey, i remember "thank you for the music"..
we were holding hands and dancing to the left and right behind u and elizabeth.. hahaha..

and yeah, the best way to kill stage fright is experience and confidence, and perhaps preparation =)
gud luck for next year XD

[Ammar]

GrEAt JoB dUdE!!Hehe..n yeah..acap's right..stage fright still happens to pro's..its just how u overcome it..n u did brilliantly man..!!=D