Through The Looking Glass

I wrote this blog a couple of days ago and didn't manage to post it on time. but here was what i wrote:

        I guess it is safe to say that it has been more than a year since I posted a personal blog here. The time now is 5.02pm on a Friday on 1st of February 2008. I just woke up from a siesta and it was an uneasy one. I don’t know whether to consider this a gift or a disorder but I have this weird tendency to compose new songs in my head when I am just about to doze off and usually I can make up to 3 or 4 songs before I actually fell unconscious into what is called a dream. Like 10 mins ago, in my nap, I was able to compose half a song for what sounds like a Japanese pop number (don’t ask me why, I can’t even speak the language decently), half a song for a Malay fast number and 1 complete song which sounds very Siti-Nurhaliza-esque. It feels like you have this invisible radio in your head and it keeps on playing and there is no off button, only a tuner instead to change the radio station channel and for each time you change the channel, an unprecedented song is played. But then there is no visible tuner, only your mind to control it.  And I can assure you that these songs are COMPLETELY unheard of and original and what I find intriguing is that I can change the melody of the song at will.  It’s so weird. And you know what, they actually sound good! LOL. X)

        ANYWAY, that wasn’t the main point of this blog. After a long vacation away from blogging, I reckon that it is high time that I should confer fresh breaths of air to this old dilapidated blog of mine. For a start, I wish all of you a happy 2008 (I hope it isn’t too late) and a happy Chinese New Year to those who celebrate it. 2007 hasn’t been very interesting to me. It felt like one of those long drives to somewhere you can’t even remember because the ride was too lacklustre and the most exciting thing that could happen would be stopping by at some warung (that’s a malay word for somewhat of a “stall”) that sells fresh coconut pudding. 2007 started off bitter for me. For one thing, I wasn’t able to return home to celebrate Chinese New Year with my family. It sucked BIG TIME. No, I’m not talking about angpau money. I’m talking about missing the big family gathering with relatives whom you meet once a year and of course, family recipes especially grandma’s famous deep fried meat ball.  nonetheless, at least I got my angpau money deposited into my bank account. X)

        I didn’t make any new friends throughout last year (well, whoever doesn’t like making new friends or meeting new people must be boring) and nothing really cool happened. 2007 was all about studies and exam. The first half of the year was totally dreary except that I was able to attend OIAM finale concert. Faizal was kind enough to give me two front seat tickets. X)

        ANYWAY, most of the time (of the 1st half of the year), I was busy preparing for my Advanced Subsidiary exam (that’s the A-level first year exam). It is time like that that you wish you actually gave full attention during class (sigh!). The exam process alone proved to be challenging because it was a total of 8 different question papers to sit for over duration of 4 weeks and after each paper that you don’t think you did well, you get frustrated and it’s hard to focus for the coming papers. For us, we have to resit for the exam papers, in the following year together with the A-level year 2 exam, for subjects which you didn’t get an A for in the first year exam. So in a way, you could say it would be an accumulating burden. Anyhow, the highlight of my 18th year came in the form of the exam result day. Yes, the big day. I remember it was a Thursday and everyone was tremendously nervous. The anxiety and nerves were undeniably unbearable. It felt like a balloon building up inside your chest and bursts and it keeps reiterating every fraction of a second. Imagine that and then, imagine that it started the night before when you’re on bed till the next morning during recess. That was when the official result was posted.  Obviously, no one could pay attention during class. I remember it was during Physics, approximately 9AM when I felt a vibration on my left thigh. It was my phone in my pocket alerting upon receiving an IM. I felt annoyed for some reason because I presumed that it was an IM from someone asking what my result was. I gawked at my left thigh with my chin resting on my knuckles and my elbows against the desk imagining what my actual result would be. I would be thankful if there was at least an A and hopefully no Ds (if it was a worse case scenario) because chemistry was my worst subject. I checked to see who sent the IM. It was Ms Lee, my English teacher. Among all the teachers who taught my class, you can say Ms Lee is the one whom I am close with. You see, she used to bring me to church before 3rd semester (that’s when the Catholic student population of my college increased.) What could the reason be that she IMed me? I proceeded to reading the IM. For some reason, the process of the phone displaying the IM felt longer than usual and I could even feel my heart beating so fast, faster than the beat that you hear when a professional tap-dancer dances.
        “Congrats, u got all As!”. I was baffled. I honestly couldn’t believe my eyes. Ashraf was sitting on my right. He noticed the state of frost that I was in and shook my shoulder forcefully. It was then that I realized I had this huge annoyingly broad smile sculpted upon my now cherry-flushed face. “I got all As.” I managed. “Thank you Lord Jesus.” I kept repeating to myself. I remember suddenly laughing and whispered loudly to the whole class of my good news. They congratulated alright but you couldn’t help sensing their (well, not all of them) envy of me receiving my pleasant surprise earlier than the whole batch. Oh no, please don’t get me wrong. Pardon me if I come across boastful. That’s not at all the point here. You see, I’m not the smartest guy in class. In fact, I believe I’m just average when it comes to studies and always have been. But I guess, at the end of the day, it’s the effort that you put into that counts along with faith and prayers and of course, God’s abundance blessings. When the actual result was posted, I could see some of my friends crying and some with heavily disappointed faces. It was then that you would suddenly feel bad, not because you did well, but because you wish they did as well as you. It was a difficult situation as you can imagine.

        The rest of the year sailed by very fast. Nothing so significant that I think should be written here.  It was probably around august that I got my first DSLR camera. (DSLR stand for Digital Single Lens Reflex. It’s one of those big bulky cameras with the manual lens that you usually see.) It is an Olympus EOS 510. I am still trying my best to utilise and master all its functions but it isn’t easy as it seems.

        Christmas was awesome. Great time with family and relatives and I was finally able to gather with all my former high school friends and for some reason, we felt closer than before. Lionel, if you’re reading this, we miss you mungit! (mungit is a Sabahan slang for monkey)  Pete, if you’re reading this, you should’ve came to the reunion before you left for US. Tsk.

        I guess that is all I can think of written for the time being. I’ll try my best to update as often as possible. Thank you so much for reading. God bless ya. X)

        Oh yeah, sorry if my English isn’t as up to standard as my previous posts. X)

Jay

Comments

[Ron'th]

mmm.. what more can i say? "congrats" seems to b the only words that suits u this tyme.. (i guess?) hahaha keep it up jason.. i know u can do it~ heheh

[Pete-Marcel]

Aiyo, I wanted to go but I was rushing to come here. It's all because I got the offer so late.